I NEED TO GET OUT OF THESE PANTS!!

It's time for bed, and once again I find myself hindered by this borrowed athletic belt that wraps 1.5 times around my waist/hip area. It's supposed to be fast and easy to tighten with one hand and hold your football pants up, but I'm obviously not smart or coordinated enough to free myself quickly. I'm grateful for a lot of things, but right now 'excellent bladder control' tops the list.